The other day I received an email from Nigeria from which I learned that a distant relative I didn’t even know existed was leaving me $ 100 million. I always knew that work was overrated and that waiting for something to fall from the sky one day would pay off. As I believe in KARMA, I have decided to share my happiness with others. I looked up at the sky and said, “God, did you invite me to be a rich heir? What can I do for the poor people of Nigeria? ”
As the president of the IBMC ”International Business Meetup Club”, I decided to invite two Nigerian ladies from the IBMC Club currently living in Zagreb to Franko’s Pizza & Bar, which recently won the prestigious award in Milan for the TOP50 pizza places in Europe. What is good for Europe is good for Nigeria 🙂
Photo: @catchchris_ifyoucan, Flash.hr
It turns out that only Shannon is from Nigeria and Bella is from Kenya. Is that a bad sign? I mean, it’s all the same continent. I didn’t want to bother with the little details. I will become a millionaire after all. I said to the waiter: ” Give me something most expensive! Give a tonic for young ladies and one small draft beer for me.
As we are talking about millions who have yet to sit down, I also invited my colleague Chris from Canada, who is one of the most influential lawyers in the world. I’m going to need a good lawyer to sort out the paperwork, and the least I can do for him is treat him to a good pizza.
I noticed right away how they looked at me differently since they found out I was a wealthy heir.
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
My arm is short but wide. I told them everyone to order what ever they want and not to save.
Bella’s choice was spicy Calabrian Red Pizza – San Marzano DOP, mozzarella fior di latte, spicy salsiccia sausage, ‘Nduja, dried chilli peppers, white pickled onions, extra virgin olive oil and basil.
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Shannon chose Meet The Smoke pizza – Mozzarella fior di latte, smoked mozzarella di Buffalo, aged beef, semi-dried red tomatoes, caramelized onions, Kolan cheese, extra virgin olive oil and fresh basil.
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Chris is a traditionalist. He chose Classic Pizza. He says, “If that’s good, all other pizza’s are good too.”
Classic Pizza – San Marzano CSR, smoked ham, mozzarella fior di latte, golden mushrooms, fresh basil and extra virgin olive oil.
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
As a new millionaire, I could not afford to order something similar to the order of ordinary people, although in the world of pizza, these would be Ferrari pizzas. I wanted something even more glamorous, something like a Rolls Royce Phantom. I ordered a pistachio pizza aka Pi5stachio B.
Pi5stachio B. Pizza – Mozzarella fior di latte Julienne, red semi-dried tomatoes, crushed pistachio, bresaola and Grana Padano chips.
I asked Bella to bring me this food porn on a plate to the beats of the Nigerian anthem, even though she is from Kenya.
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
For those who love tradition, Franko’s has a classic pizzas … everything that you are already used to only in a slightly better version, but you must try their Romana and Napolitana with special ingredients. I could now expertly write the difference between these three types of pizza, but then Google would lose its job 🙂
Franko’s Pizza & Bar uses premium Italian flour for fermented doughs that age for at least 48 hours before ending up in a handmade bread oven for which the floor used ” Biscotto di Sorrento ”, a special Neapolitan stone that their pizzas with delicious ingredients and great Pizzaiole, gives that something that makes them among the best pizzas in Europe.
While Dear Leader Joe recommendation is the most valuable in the world of gastronomy, if someone from Michelin is reading this, give those guys from Franko’s a Michelin recommendation too because they really deserve it.
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
At one point Shannon took a few sips of the tonic too much. She looked at me with her beautiful Nigerian eyes and said, ” That mail from Nigeria is a chain fraud. My neighbor sends it every day. I’m sorry, but nothing of your millions. “
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Bella burst out laughing and said in fluent Kenyan, “How could you fall for that story? Millions do not fall from the sky. You didn’t pay them money to fix your paperwork, did you?”
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
My world collapsed like Bill Gates dreams when he realized that summer season had come and that he needs to forget about the fictional pandemic by autumn.
Shannon and Bella were dying of laughter, but they were also letting me know in fluent African that I was still irresistible, even though I was only a poor Croatian and not a Nigerian tycoon.
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Chris was just typing messages on his cell phone: “Dear Leader has fallen for a Nigerian scam … hahhaha”
The team agreed that Franko’s pizza was one of the best, if not the best, they had ever eaten and that I was as naive as a girl with matches when she thought she would warm up in that cold night with a box of matches.
Already as a new millionaire, I was buying land in Bulgaria for a new summer house, and now I feel like Donald Trump hair on the wind. Why misfortune always comes on the baldest among us?
Author: Josip Novosel aka Dear Leader Joe aka Vin Diesel for poor people – a self-deprecating spell thrower from Croatia, a corresponding member of the magazine “Good pizza is not for poor people”, a friend of the wealthy, first a human, and only then a tycoon and Gastro Snob.
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