Since we were are all in this Corona quaranteen, I have finally found time to finish my column about Brass Palmas Festival in Baska on the island of Krk.
The summer has ended and everyone went back to their rut. Kids got up to go to school again, the thieves got up to go to work in the Parliament and our pensioners once again started picking up plastic bottles in front of neighborhood trash containers to get some money for their daily bread. For the regular little man, the world went back to normal. Summer may have ended, but not for Dear Leader Joe.
Each year, end of June, there is a big Woodstock party for all brass music lovers out there. “Woodstock der Blasmusik” gathered around 70000 people last year. This year I went there myself and found out that there was a mini Woodstock – Brass Palmas Festival – taking place from 26th to 29th of September in Baska on the island of Krk. Since their target visitors are Austrians and Germans, they don’t bother to advertise here so no one in Croatia really knows about the festival. I had the honor to be the only Croatian representative there.
Almost 2000 Germans, Austrians and brass music lovers occupied our sunny island. Gorgeous sandy beach in Baska, the sun is shinning, beer is pouring and you can hear the sounds of Alps folklore music resonating in the background. Now, I know this sounds as exciting as getting the Coronavirus, but it was truly fantastic.
So many German and Austrian trombones, trumpets, saxophones, clarinets and ofcourse girls.
Naturally, all of my poor friends have already used up all of their vacations and savings so none of them could join me there, but that did not stop me from going to Krk where I was greeted by a Slovenian colleague Kostja Asvec from Buffet Crampon Company – the largest brass instrument manufacturer in the world who was also sponsoring this festival.
There was music playing around each corner. We were just passing by the sea and there was a woman on a harph, a guy on a trombone and another one on accordion and they were really nailing that austrian sound.
People were even playing instruments in the sea.
We went on a fieldtrip by ferry which was actually a boat party because it was full of Austrians and Germans playing their national music with random hints of melodies even I recognized.
Vin Diesel for the poor people practicing pick up lines in fluent German: ”Ich bin Joe…”
Alcohol was pouring in streams but there were no incidents and everyone was in a good mood. Such a well mannered nation.
Besides partying, I also used this trip for boosting my music education. I went to a saxophone workshop by Isabelle Lings who is, just like myself, an endorser for Keilwerth saxophones. She asked me if we could take a photo together so that she could brag to her Austrian girl friends about meeting me. When other females saw that, it started a brawl. Saxophones, clarinets and trombones were flying through the air… you could hear it all around in fluent German: “I saw him first. I will kill you, Isabella!” “You cow!” “You goat” “No, Helga, don’t pull on my hair extensions!”
All visitors of the festival could tryout numerous instruments in Buffet Crampon showroom.
True madness started at the pool party. Live music, hot girls, everyone dancing in the pool and around it and all I was thinking about was: “I shouldn’t have had so many onions at lunch. I stink and my fat stomach isn’t such a nice view either.” I had a photo of myself by the pool but I accidentally erased it.
In the evening, Kostja and I discussed some important topics. “Is the Piran Bay ours or yours?” Kostja payed for a few rounds and I said as a true patriot: “You keep the bloody bay, we have plenty of coast even without it”.
I just feel bad I didn’t catch the name of that lovely waitress (if you are accidentally reading this, feel free to contact me and I’ll buy you a beer in Zagreb).
After visiting the beach bar, we went to the Buffet Crampon tent where they held concerts every single night.
We bumped into an awesome balkan band Dzambo Agusevi Orchestra. They were killing it.
Last days kind of gathered everyone up at the beach where they humbly asked for permission to play something for the Dear Leader Joe before we all parted ways.
That is an offer you don’t say no to. Play me something Austrian:)
I hope Bras Palmas will be held this year as well and that it will not be canceled due to the Corona situation. Fuck the cold, the flu, viruses and every other party killer!
Author: Dear Leader Joe aka Vin Diesel for the poor people, a corresponding member of the ”Trumpets are for funerals, not summer vacations” magazine, a friend to the wealthy, a tycoon and a Gastro Snob, but above all a human.
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