{"id":26650,"date":"2025-05-07T13:09:57","date_gmt":"2025-05-07T11:09:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flash.hr\/?p=26650"},"modified":"2026-07-02T11:50:31","modified_gmt":"2026-07-02T09:50:31","slug":"switzerland-is-not-expensive-you-are-poor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flash.hr\/en\/2025\/05\/switzerland-is-not-expensive-you-are-poor\/","title":{"rendered":"Switzerland is not expensive, you are poor :)"},"content":{"rendered":"

A red light went on in the Central Committee of Cucerje (Shithole where my parents live in Croatia). Word got out that the Dear Leader Joe is traveling to Switzerland. The family couldn’t hide their excitement. Brothers: “You don’t have the money for a new Rolex, and we have cheese in Croatia too. Podravec is the best” Parents: “Haven’t you already fucked yourself enough with the Swiss franc loan? Why are you doing shit again?” Sister: “Bring me some good chocolate. Not that garbage on sale like last time.” After warm greetings, I got on the plane (400 euros return ticket Zg-Zurich) and headed towards the neutral Switzerland. The reason for my trip?<\/span><\/p>\n

Namely, Dear Leader Joe has his people everywhere. Recently, my colleague Kate became a marketing employee for FIFA, which is headquartered in Zurich. <\/span>I landed there as excited as the crazy Vicka when she first lied about seeing the Virgin Mary in Medjugorje. Just as Mary never appeared there<\/span>, Kate unfortunately did not appear in Zurich either. She had to go to New York on business, and I was hosted by her boyfriend Thomas, who lives in Bern. I got on the train with him and rode the hour-long train to Bern. The ticket price is 53 Swiss francs. Luxurious life \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n

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Dear Leader Joe\u00a0
Photo: Thomas, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Thomas boasted that it was the capital of Switzerland and that it had 130,000 inhabitants, but I coldly told him not to lie. We all know about Zurich and Geneva. What kind of Bern? Never heard of it. Cucerje has more inhabitants than Bern. So what is Cucerje, if Bern is the capital? He took me to their local, traditional restaurant Bahnhof-Weissenbuhl. All meals are around 30 CHF, and the daily menu is 20 CHF. We ordered sausages and liver with potatoes. Simple, rustic, home-cooked food at reasonable prices. Thomas treated me, which made the experience even better. There’s no better meal than a free meal \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n

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Bern – Bahnhof -Weissenbuhl restaurant
Photo: Dear Leader Joe – Dragi Vo\u0111a, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Bern – Bahnhof -Weissenbuhl restaurant
Photo: Dear Leader Joe – Dragi Vo\u0111a, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It’s interesting how all the residents of Bern swim in their river. I thought all rivers were radioactive like the Sava river in Zagreb, but I was wrong. Theirs is clean. I suggested to Thomas that we dive in search of gold bars from World War II. He told me that now is neither the time nor the place for such adventures. He must know where they are, but he’s hiding it. That’s why the Swiss are rich. They pretend not to know, but they know everything.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Bern – Thomas
Photo: Dear Leader Joe – Dragi Vo\u0111a. Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We toured the upper town, which resembles Zagreb a bit.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Bern – Dear Leader Joe
Photo: Thomas, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Bern
Photo: Dear Leader Joe – Dragi Vo\u0111a. Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We went for a bite to eat at the Altes Tramdepot pub, below which there is an enclosure with bears, which have their own little forest, a swimming pool, and I was lucky that day to catch them in amorous ecstasy. If this isn’t the Rocco Siffredi of the bear world, then I don’t know who is \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n