{"id":25353,"date":"2024-02-18T17:35:24","date_gmt":"2024-02-18T16:35:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flash.hr\/?p=25353"},"modified":"2024-02-18T17:35:24","modified_gmt":"2024-02-18T16:35:24","slug":"thailand-finally-a-country-where-a-croat-feels-wealthy-without-it-being-bosnia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flash.hr\/en\/2024\/02\/thailand-finally-a-country-where-a-croat-feels-wealthy-without-it-being-bosnia\/","title":{"rendered":"Thailand – Finally, a country where a Croat feels wealthy, without it being Bosnia"},"content":{"rendered":"

While the suffering people of Croatia were freezing in a depressed January, Dear Leader Joe and other Freemasonry members fled to warmer regions. The decision fell on Thailand – Phuket. Detractors will say that it’s the Maldives for the poor, but they are just jealous because they cannot afford it.<\/span><\/p>\n

As before every long journey of the Dear Leader Joe, a red light is lightning in the Central Committee of his parents home. The family anxiously deliberated long into the night. My mother called me and asked in a panicked voice: “I heard you are going to Taiwan?” Me: “What kind of Taiwan?” Mother: “I saw on the news that there are riots there because of the election.” Me: “” I’m going to Thailand.” Mother: “It’s all the same. But, I was just thinking about something… You often travel to faraway places, and I don’t have a spare key to your apartment. If something happens to you, how will I get into the apartment? Something could happen to you, you know! It’s not that I want to snoop around your apartment, but just in case you die.”<\/span><\/p>\n

The brothers added that I should watch out for Lady Boys, and there was not too much enthusiasm about my trip on social networks either. I was expecting a message like: Have a good trip, take a bath for us too…, but mostly I only got hundreds of warnings about “local beauties” with male tools between their legs. Instead of joy, I caused people stress with my trip. Croats don’t say for nothing: Other people’s happiness is our misfortune.<\/span><\/p>\n

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For all those who are wondering how to get there: After paying around 1570 euros for a round trip ticket – Turkish Airlines – ZG – Istanbul – Phuket, I remembered that I also need to get a visa for Thailand. The procedure is simple. Fill out the form on their website https:\/\/thaievisa.go.th\/Home<\/strong><\/a><\/span> and pay 35 euros. When I did everything, I asked myself: “And how long exactly I need to wait for the visa?” I called some regular travelers to Thailand and the answer was always the same: 10-20 working days. FUCK!. My flight is in 7 days. What now? Cancel the flight or call their embassy in Budapest and say: “Do you know who I am?” Of course I called them and they never heard for me. In the end, the visa came in 5 days, but my recommendation is not to follow my example. Get everything done on time.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Turkish Airlines – Thailand
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I caused a mutiny on the plane again. “Why did he get protein bars and we didn’t?” People were saying ”<\/span>He is treated better because he is not poor! There is no justice for the working class…” <\/span><\/p>\n

PS: No paid advertising. I cashed out for every bite.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Turkish Airlines
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

After about 13 hours of flight, I landed in Thailand. I immediately bought an AIS sim card – Unlimited internet and calls for only 20 euros. I recommend that you immediately install their Uber application Indrive. I headed to the center of Phuket at the Cocoon APK Resort & SPA<\/strong><\/a>, which was my temporary destination until a Penthouse became available, which is also owned by the owner of this hotel.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Cocoon APK Resort & SPA
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I know that the tycoon community will condemn me, but the rooms here are about 38 euros a night. Even my cashier Renata can afford it if she could save up for a plane ticket, but luckily she can’t. I expect an attack by the union of cashiers in 3,2,1…<\/span><\/p>\n

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Cocoon APK Resort & SPA
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I left my things in the room and immediately went down to the restaurant within the hotel – Fire Steakhouse and Grill. They offer Thai, Pakistani-Indian, Moroccan and European cuisine. I said to the waiter: “Give me something Thai!” Give me this steak and don’t skimp on the potatoes.”<\/span><\/p>\n

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Fire Steakhouse and Grill – Cocoon APK Resort & SPA Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The meat melted in my mouth like the value of my savings after inflation. They use some Pakistani-Indian spices, so I assumed as a great gastro expert that this was not an authentic Thai dish. To make up for it, I ordered a pineapple chicken salad and a mango smoothie. If this is not the taste of Thailand, then Lady Boys have no D..k.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Fire Steakhouse and Grill – Cocoon APK Resort & SPA
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Croats have Ozujsko and Karlovacko, and Thais have Singha and Chang beer. You have to be careful when you order a large beer, because they are a liter beer, not a half liter. Actually, you don’t have to be careful \ud83d\ude42 <\/span><\/p>\n

I think all this cost me around 25-30 euros. Finally, a country where a Croat feels wealthy, without it being Bosnia. I expect attacks in 3,2,1… Bosnia and Herzegovina, not Bosnia!<\/span><\/p>\n

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Fire Steakhouse and Grill – Cocoon APK Resort & SPA
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As the Dear Leader Joe has Masonic connections everywhere, I was also welcomed in Thailand by my colleague Eva, who coincidentally ended up in Phuket when I did (Or maybe she’s following me?).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She rented a scooter for 5 euros per day and generously offered to be my driver. Traffic is crazy. I almost died the first day because I looked to the left when crossing the road. That’s what they taught me at school. There was no one on the left. I took a step, and when to the right three scooters, a TukTuk and a van… Leftists members. They drive on the left side. Crossing the road is literally waving your arms and legs in the hope that someone will stop. I agreed to let Eva drive me on the condition that the helmet is mine. She already had a hat on her head, so she was protected. We headed to the Centara Grand beach resort in Phuket because my colleague Tina works there as an animator. Now I know why she refused the job in Mcdonald’s \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n

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Grand Centara Phuket Beach Resort – Thaland Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Grand Centara Phuket Beach Resort – Thailand Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Grand Centara Phuket Beach Resort – Thailand Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I promised Eva that I would pay for lunch if she made me a commercial for Cibona sunglasses. By buying these unisex shades that are made in Croatia, you look cool and helping basketball club CIBONA \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n

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Cibona sunglasses – Grand Centara Phuket Beach Resort – Thailand Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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Grand Centara Phuket Beach Resort – Thailand Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This is a gastronomic paradise. The Asian food here tastes better than anything Asian you ordered through your Wolt app \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n

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Grand Centara Phuket Beach Resort – Thailand Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

After her shift ended, Tina showed me the real Thailand. We saw Eva off, and we headed to Patong Beach (it leads to the city beach, which you can skip). Kudo Beach Club by the beach is OK. Excellent cocktails. They cost around 6 euros, but the best part is the DJ in a Cibona jersey \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n

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Kudo Beach Club – Phuket – Thailand
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
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@dearleaderjoe<\/a> DJ – Thailand – Cibona jersey \ud83d\ude42 #cibona<\/a> #dj<\/a> #beachclub<\/a> #fyp<\/a> \u266c original sound – Dear Leader Joe<\/a><\/section>\n<\/blockquote>\n