ART FARM FILOZICI – NO STRESS ON CRES – How I discovered a paradise for hedonists

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Art Farm Filozici – Igor Zlatkov – This is not corona mask, it’s working mask. Behind Igor is art work ”Mermaid to Filozici”, Maribor sculptor and painter Jože Šubica.
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

He sent me a message on Facebook: “Why don’t you come to visit us on Cres one day?  This is a place for artists, hedonists and Gastro Snobs like you. Prosciutto, mussels, fish, venison, cheeses, top quality wines, untouched nature… The Mediterranean as it once was.”

Art Farm Filozici – Mussels
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
As THE CORONA PANDEMIC screwed up world tourism and grounded numerous airlines, it’s not that I had any alternative.  My biggest excitement so far was traveling by bus for a family lunch in Chucherye. Now, I could fry in the heat of the city asphalt and try to reduce the budget deficit by killing retirees in public transportation by coughing without a mask in their direction, but I am not Mother Teresa and I can’t do good deeds every day.
Instead of depopulating the area, I opted for the Mediterranean as it once was.  Corona forced me to meet Lijepa naša, and I have never been to Cres before. I just wondered – Who is desperate enough, not working on a Wednesday and can travel to the sea with me? The answer was simple. Jasminka Škalić, academic painter and jewelry designer. Only influencers like me do less than her. We boarded her Suzuki and headed to Cres – by car to Krk and then to the ferry and then some 35 minutes drive from Cres to Art Farm Filozici.
Art Farm Filozici
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

At the entrance to the farm you are surrounded by wooden sculptures Macmalići, which were made with chainsaws at the first art colony in 2010 by artists from Prosecco near Trieste.  Macmalići are mythical forest creatures from island legends and they are almost as short as I am. They have a red cap and blue shorts and live in stumps, holes and pits. If you make them angry, they become vindictive so they can scare you or lead you astray. It is better to believe in Macmalići than in Coronavirus.

Art Farm Filozici – Macmalici
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

They have two houses for rent on the Farm.  One is for two people and is located by the pool which is heated all year round and next to the house is a sauna. The other house is for 4 people and is a hundred meters away.

At the entrance to the pool house are sculptures by Jože Šubica – an academic sculptor and painter from Maribor.

Sisters to Filozici

Art Farm Filozici – Sisters to Filozici, Jože Šubica, academic painter and sculptor from Maribor
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Art Farm Filozići – Summer books for Dear Leader Joe by Bookmarker.hr
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
If you come on a trip with a wife, girlfriend, mistress or lover, you will have a romantic view of the stars because there is a round glass window in the bedroom – right above the bed.
Art Farm Filozici
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

We settled in this second and larger house because our colleague Maja said she would join us a day later. 

Art Farm Filozici
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Jasminka immediately remembered her childhood. She asked me to take a photo in the style a common village girl.  She was so thrilled when we arrived that she said she could easily cut off her ear and paint there for three months. I stopped her in her intention in the last minute. My guess is she spent too long in the sun. 

Art Farm Filozici – Jasminka Škalić
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
We left our things in the cottage and headed straight to Porozina beach which is only a ten minute drive from the farm.  Photo speaks a thousand words.
Cres – Beach Porozina
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Igor greeted us with a light home-made dinner. Black Slavonian pork prosciutto (3 years of ripening), smoked tuna on a bed of wild arugula and purslane, organic tomatoes and fried polenta with gorngonzola. How can something that stinks worse than my socks after the gym be so delicious? Only true gourmets and Gastro Snobs like me can know that. For everyone else, there is the cashier Helga and Cheddar from the local shop.

Art Farm Filozici
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Art Farm Filozici – Smoked tuna
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Art Farm Filozići – fried polenta with gorngonzola
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Igor has completed a course for winemakers and although he does not have his own vineyards on Cres, he rents one hectare in Nadin so he produces an excellent blend of cabernet and merlot that you must try. He is also a friend of many small and large winemakers, so his guests can enjoy top quality wines all year round.
I brought him a bottle of Traminer that we chugged for an appetizer. My arm is short but generous.
Art Farm Filozići – Igor Zlatkov – Traminac, Iločki podrumi Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
The next day Maja joined us. We immediately took her to the beach, but swimming did not seem to be the priority. 
Cres – Beach Porozina – Maja Sokač
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

As the pool house was empty, I told my colleague Dean, a returnee from America, to rent it out and join us. He said that he was going to Opatija and that he could come by for one day because it was on his way. He got into a BMW Z3, ​​lowered the roof and flew it to Cres. We took him to the city for sightseeing before lunch, ie early dinner.

Cres – Dean Ljubičić
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Cres
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Traveling without a selfie is like a church without a pedophile. Jaca also had to take a selfie to show off her beautiful necklace which she made herself. In her late years she sells paintings and jewelry. What else could this poor woman do when she doesn’t have a political party membership card. 

Cres – Jasminka Škalić
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Igor greeted us with island delicacies. Raw marinated anchovies, peperoncino calabrese piccante stuffed with tuna, pickled motar, all served on a special ceramic plate, design by Bojana Križanec.

Art Farm Filozići – Raw marinated anchovies, peperoncino calabrese piccante stuffed with tuna, pickled motar, Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

This was followed by organic cherry tomatoes with bruschetta with truffles and cod in white sauce that Igor served on a handmade platter.

Art Farm Filozići – Cod on white and truffles, Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

His brand is called Tramontana Wood Craft – trays made of wood and stone.

Art Farm Filozici – Tramontana Wood Craft
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Art Farm Filozici – Tramontana Wood Craft
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

He also sliced ​​some three-year-old black Slavonian pig prosciutto served on a stand, which he also made himself in his CROtitelj mint.

Art Farm Filozići – Black Slavonian pig prosciutto
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Igor also has his own line of knives which he mainly produces for cutting prosciutto and  he has a pet name for them – the Terminators of prosciutto. The blades are Japanese or made by a local blacksmith, which he later completes with special handles and cases made of wood at the customer’s request with an engraved logo and he usually sells them, as well as prosciutto stands and serving boards, to the best restaurants, hotels and hedonists.

Art Farm Filozici – Prosciutto Terminator
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Art Farm Filozici – Prosciutto Terminator
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

I ordered a set of knives to defend myself from masked fanatics. People are quite aggressive if they see you without a mask these days.

Art Farm Filozici
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

For this occasion, I brought Igor OH WINES Teran sparkling wine, a limited edition of 100 bottles. Be sure to try it if you get the chance. Saša Bernobić from Vižinada in Istria makes great wines.

Art Farm Filozići – Maja Sokač and OH Wines sparkling wine from Teran
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

I know the vegetarians are going to crucify me now, but for the main course we had wild boar and deer, freshly caught the day before. Igor prepared them in his recognizable and original way: Filoska gregada with a fallow deer.  The meat melted in my mouth like Albanian ice cream in the summer heat. Michelin’s restaurants looks like soup kitchens compared to this.

Art Farm Filozići – Filoska gregada with a fallow dear
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
Art Farm Filozici
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Breakfast was just as interesting as dinner.  Homemade quince and wild orange jam, fresh goat’s milk with homemade honey and brandy to kill all viruses, even the fictional ones.

Art Farm Filozici – Breakfast
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

She is not even aware that her milk was drunk by Dear Leader Joe for breakfast. What an honor for one goat.

Art Farm Filozici
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Farm mascot – Puppy Budha

Art Farm Filozici – Budha
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

PS: Just when I thought I saw everything Igor makes, I realized he also makes super cool wooden glasses.

Art Farm Filozići – Wooden glasses
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

It is great to come to the island, to the countryside, to nature among domestic animals and enjoy the fresh air, local organic food, live without television and all the media and material shit that surrounds us. I felt spiritualized. After a long time I finally sat down and read a book in peace.

Art Farm Filozići – Dear Leader Joe aka Vin Diesel for poor people with new Jospeh Stiglitz book from Bookmarker.hr
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Igor use to rent loudspeakers and lighting for living. He also lived in Switzerland and then he got tired of “civilization” and moved with his wife Nevenka from Rijeka to Cres in 2005. He also worked as a skipper so he got to know all the islands in the Adriatic well and he chose Cres because it was a wild enough and uninhabited island, and yet large and relatively well connected, close to the mainland and the city.  He is a big fan of music, food, wine and art so we would talk and talk late into the night about the musical opus of numerous  greats of the Yugoslavian music scene.

I’m kidding. We listened to rock and jazz, drank good wines and enjoyed life. I secretly kept an eye on Cardi B’s cleavage while no one was watching.  Modern music is not listened to, it is looked at. 
Art Farm Filozici – Dear Leader Joe aka Vin Diesel for poor people
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Predzadnji dan su nam Igor i Nevenka pripremili buzaru od pedoča ”mare & monti” s pancetom i svježim pomidorima. Za predjelo je bila buzara na bijelo. Perverzija.

Art Farm Filozici – Mussels
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

This time I surprised them with a barricaded Malvasia San Mauro that went perfectly with our meal. 

Art Farm Filozici – San Mauro Barique Malvazija
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

Nevenka asked me: “Didn’t you say that you also have Dingač Matuško?” I forgot it by the pool, but it didn’t go bad. I returned for the bottle and its content disappeared like Bill Gates’ philantropy when he found out he could earn money on vaccines. 

Art Farm Filozici – Matuško Dingač
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

We would fall asleep as soon as we closed our eyes every night. Sun, sea, wine… the best remedy for insomnia. In the morning Igor greeted me with a bottle of 1998 Adberg whiskey. We chugged a glass each on an empty stomach. A real elixir for only 10000.00 kn per bottle. Are you sleeping peacefully, cashier Helga? This was a pleasant surprise, even bigger than the realization that I was sitting on a chair made for Josip Broz Tito.

Art Farm Filozici – Igor Zlatkov and Dear Leader Joe aka Vin Diesel for poor people
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr

As nothing is thrown away on the farm, so the few mussels that were left over from yesterday were used and made into a phenomenal spgahetti that we dug in like church digs into tax payers money. One should not not travel on an empty stomach.

Art Farm Filozici – Spaghetti with mussels
Photo: @DearLeaderJoe, Flash.hr
If you love peace, quiet, romance, art, untouched nature, beautiful clear sea, phenomenal local food, good wines and if you want an unforgettable experience, Art Farm Filozici is the place for you.  Igor and Nevenka are great hosts.  If you think this kind of hedonism is expensive, it really isn’t.  A house by the pool for two people costs 1000 kn per day.  Igor also knows how to organize art workshops, whiskey tastings and similar events on the farm, so it’s good to be his friend.
If you are not cut down by fictional coronavirus and do not end up on a respirator and later in a coffin, pack your bags and recharge your batteries on Cres.

Author: Josip Novosel aka Dear Leader aka Vin Diesel for the poor, selfeffacing caster of curses from Chucherye, a corresponding member of the “Better to be a hedonist than a Communist” magazine, a friend to the wealthy, a tycoon and a Gastro Snob, but above all a human.